Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Boy or Girl?

Has it really been six months since I blogged?

Sorry to all my fans for my overextended absence from the blogosphere. I've been so busy eating, sleeping and having my diaper changed that I didn't have time for anything else. That's my excuse. I have no idea what Uncle Jeff's excuse is.

On days like these, when I have a minute or two between meals, naps and making sure 'da 'rents have no rest, I like to reflect back on my Halcyon days in Mommy Vanessa's womb.

At the moment I'm reminiscing about the day I learned of my gender. I was busy slumbering, gently floating in the amniotic fluid whilst basking in the flicking light cast by my iMac's screen saver when I was RUDELY AWAKENED! By some poking and prodding! Every few seconds a few inches of the womb would cave in and then bounce back in random places all around me. I steadied myself so I could hear better.

"I'm having a hard time finding your baby on the sonogram," a voice said.

"What's a sonogram," I asked.

The voice continued as if it didn't hear me.

"Let me see if I can find the baby," the voice said, followed by more poking and prodding that resulted in little pockets of the womb collapsing around me!

I was not going having any part of this. I quickly went into "hide and seek" mode, trying to find the best nook and crannies in Mommy's womb to hide from the invasive procedure!

"Your baby's really active," the voice said. "I think what it's doing is when I try getting a sonogram of it on one side of your stomach your baby moves to the other side."

"You got that right!" I said. Then I heard a familiar voice.

"Baby is an active one," Mommy said.

"Yes," Daddy agreed.

All of a sudden the prodding stopped.

"You're having a girl," the voice declared.

"A girl!" Mommy said with sheer delight in her voice.

"A girl?" Daddy said, with a tinge of disappoint in his voice.

"What's a girl?" I asked. Again no one acted as if they heard me.

Then I heard what sounded like Mommy having a hard time breathing. "Mmmm (gasp).....mmm (gasp). I'm so sorry for crying (sniffling)...I'm so happy...I've always wanted a girl."

Daddy didn't say anything. Hmmmph!

That's okay Daddy. I forgive you. Especially since I've been born and I got you wrapped around my little girly fingers! I can do no wrong in your sight! Yea for me!

Well that's all for now.


Baby Pham

Saturday, February 9, 2008

Sorry For The Wait!

It's been ages since I posted but it could not be helped.

I was in the midst of preparing dozens of posts when Mommy Vanessa had contractions 24 hours before my due date. Doesn't she know that I do everything at the last minute? I tried delaying my arrival for 22 hours, but to no avail. Before I could hit the post button on blogger I was forced out into this cold cruel world, no longer encapsulated in Mommy's warm womb.

Then, to add insult to injury, those crazy nurses and doctor threw away my iMac, amniotic-proof keyboard, and high-speed wireless adapter that came out with the placenta. I guess they thought it was just more afterbirth.

Anyhow, the next several posts will be from when I was still in utero.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Passing Time

Hello World!

Life is less boring now that I can blog again!

But there is so much more to life than surfing the Internet. In between blogging and practicing karate inside mommy's womb, I've recently started swimming lessons.

It goes pretty much like this: One backstroke, two backstrokes, and thud--my head slams into mommy's bladder. For some reason this stops mommy in the middle of whatever she's doing--usually myspacing--and she runs off, jostling me around so much that I have to end swimming lessons for a few minutes.

That's all for now.


Baby Pham

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Baby Pham is Back!

Hello world!

So sorry it's been so long since I last blogged. But at least I haven't taken as long as Jeff Tatarchuk. Uncle Jeff, it's time for you to blog!

I've had a series of setbacks which prevented me from blogging. First, my internet service provider refused to continue providing me service to Mommy Vanessa's womb. They said they didn't know where to send me the bill! Second, I out grew my water resistant keyboard (you know, the one that I have to use because of all the aminotic fluid in mommy's belly).

It took forever for the postal service to figure out where to ship my new keyboard. Finally I had to email them my GPS location, and told them it was alright just to leave it at mommy's belly button and I would take care of the rest. I finally got an internet connection again after I figured out how to pirate Southern's wi-fi.

A lot's changed since I last blogged.

I'm now 36 weeks old and 18 inches long!

It sure is getting cramped in here. Maybe I can get more room if I rest my iMac on mommy's bladder...


Baby Pham

Sunday, August 5, 2007

Blogging from Mommy's womb!

Hello world!

Although it's only been 16 weeks since I've been conceived, it's never too early to get your own blog. So without any further ado, ahem...Welcome to Baby Pham's blog: Blogging from Mommy Vanessa's womb!

A few facts about me...
As I mentioned, I'm 16 weeks old and seven inches long.

My mother is of North American, English, Irish, French, and Native American descent. Basically she's a mutt! Daddy is a big 'ole Vietnamese guy with a little bit of Chinese thanks to his great-great grandpa. Mommy always said she wanted a Chinese baby and since my daddy was the closest thing in her hometown of Azle, Texas (population 10,000) she naturally gravitated to him. Daddy says he's lucky for that teenie weenie bit of Chinese DNA or he never would have ever had a chance of entering into matrimonial bliss with mommy!

Mommy's doctor said I should be born in early/mid January. I'm so glad I won't be born at Christmas. Daddy has a cousin who was born the week of Christmas and because of that cruel twist of fate, cousin only gets one set of presents that count as his Christmas and birthday gifts. Being born in January has its advantages. One, its far enough removed from Christmas to warrant me a second set of presents. Two, its close enough to Christmas that if Santa Claus doesn't get me what I want I can whine and complain until Mommy and Daddy cave in and rectify the situation with better gifts a few weeks later on my birthday. Yeah for me!

Right now you may be asking, "How is it possible to blog from Mommy Vanessa's womb?". Well that's a good question. Because of the amniotic fluid, I had to get a water resistant keyboard. And since there's not much room, I've got the keyboard resting on my lap with one end against Mommy Vanessa's pancreas and the other end jammed down on her bladder. For some reason that makes mommy wake up a lot at night.

Well thanks for reading. My very first blog has been so much fun. I got to go, I have to rearrange mommy's internal organs so I can get a few more inches of growing room.


Baby Pham